Listen to your partner first before reacting.
Don’t try to interpret – if he means this or that….
Just listen to exactly what he is saying.
How can I listen to my partner in a relationship?
Always, always make eye contact while listening.
When you look into a person’s eyes, you become aware of his feelings and emotions right away. Eyes never lie. Eye contact will connect you with him directly.
Keep your expressions calm, neutral. When you are at peace, it will radiate to him. He will also feel calm and comfortable with you.
What does it mean to listen to your partner?
When you start listening, the whole of him starts speaking.
Listen to his every gesture. Read his behavior. Notice on which word he feels uncomfortable.
Rapid breathing, increased sweats on his palms, his blinking of eyes …. Every little thing speaks.
Only you need to hear. Not just your ears, but every part of your body hears. Take mental notes and don’t interrupt him.
No need to accept or reject. First, listen.
If you agree with him, don’t say – okay, right, I agree. Don’t say – no, you are wrong, even when you don’t agree. Keep your opinion to yourself. Don’t react right away.
If you react, it will get saved in his memory that when he shares certain thoughts, you don’t like it or you judge him.
And this will make your relationship more difficult. Next time he might not share the whole truth. Because he remembers your reaction.
It’s not about you or him. It’s about your relationship with him. Give him enough freedom to share his thoughts. This freedom comes from – How well can you listen?
Why you should listen to your partner?
This is a very simple practice to make him believe that you actually listen.
You care about his thoughts.
…..that he has one person that believes him without judgment.….that he can share his fears, insecurities, belief, pain, pleasures with you.
And next time he feels disturbed or depressed, instead of going to a friend, he will come to you. Because he realizes that you accept him with his weirdness, uneasiness. Now he will share everything that is on his mind without omitting the truth. Because he knows that he is always welcomed by you.
In a relationship, listen to your partner first. When you start listening, he will feel comfortable sharing.
Sometimes he doesn’t want you to fix his problems. He wants you to just listen to him. Always be the first to listen. Most importantly, learn how to listen!
I am no relationship expert. But not every lesson is learned in class. And who is a better teacher than life?
To your healthy long-live relationship,
Cheers!
Awesome